Fire Damage

Interestingly, firemen can cause as much or more damage to the property fighting the fire as the fire itself.

Don't get me wrong -- they have to fight hard to keep the fire under control and that does mean having to demolish some things to keep it from spreading farther. 

Its just not something that I ever really thought about before so it was interesting to me how much damage was done in fighting the fire.  For example ... a section of our neighbors fence and places on all three sides of our fence were torn down to allow the firemen and their equipment to get into our backyard and fight the fire.  Walls in the house that had not been completely burned had their wallboard removed down to the studs to make sure there were no 'hot spots'.

Our living room the morning after:

The fire started in the back corner outside the house and quickly spread through the eaves across the whole house.  Separately it leapt down into the basement window and burnt there.   Part of the reason it was so devastating is that it was able to quickly spread through the whole house.  It started outside so had the wood siding and deck for easy fuel.  And since it went through the eaves, there were no barriers for it to have to burn through (like walls).

At one point the firemen were pumping water through the basement window to control the basement portion of the fire .... the next day there was about a foot of sooty, ash filled water in my basement.  We had someone come pump out the basement, but it was several days before we could safely get down there.

Looking down the basement stairs to the flood below:

The harsh reality was that nothing was salvageable - if it wasn't burnt by the fire it was smoke and water damaged beyond repair.  It is frightening to look at the collapsed roof, melted metal, and piles of debris and realize things could have turned out much differently for us. 

This is a view of my bedroom window where we would have been sleeping if the fire had started later that evening:

We are so grateful for our safety.

Our Family Forgives.

In our family -- we do a lot of stuff that requires apologizing for.  I'm stubborn and a hothead.  Ed is deliberately contentious.  So it is really important that we are willing to forgive each other. Regularly. :)

Our house fire began in the back corner outside the house -- on first seeing the fire, Ed immediately suspected that it was his fault.  Near that location was the bucket where he places his extinguished cigarettes after smoking.  And in fact, the fire investigators determined that it was an accidental fire started by improperly extinguished smoking materials.

Poor  Ed.  I can't imagine that sinking feeling he experienced when realizing this was caused by something he did.  He was surprised when I wasn't mad at him at all.  I was surprised that he thought I would be mad .... It was an accident ... how could I get angry with him when it could just as easily have been me? 

A few years ago, I had a jar candle burn down to the end of the jar ( Lord of the Flame episode ) and almost start a fire in my house.   Again ... what right would I have to be angry when it could have been something I did that started the fire?

And what good would being angry do anyway?  The house was still burnt.  Better that we stick close together and support one another - thats what family does.  Love. Forgive. Mess up again.  Repeat.

Enfolded in the arms of our community

As the firemen started streaming onto my street and fighting the fire, the floodgates opened and my friends and neighbors poured out of their homes to comfort and support us.

Someone brought me a chair to sit on and a blanket to keep warm.   A jacket for Ed.  Water bottles.  Offers of bathrooms to use and places to stay.  A phone charger and place to charge Ed's phone (I left my phone on the arm of the couch when we ran out of the house).   People holding Taco and keeping him calm and safe (and offering him a place to stay too!).

The whole neighborhood seemed to be there with hugs and reassurances and offers of assistance. 

A couple of my friends went to Walmart to get us some necessities for us including toothbrushes and a leash for Taco.

Ed called my parents to let them know what was going on (he was worried that someone would post something on facebook and they would be frightened for our safety). 

Here is a picture of my phone after we dug it out of the rubble the next day (the people at the Verizon Wireless store laughed when they saw it and said "What did you do????" "I set it on fire.". 

We very quickly had a place to stay for the night with an amazing and generous family.  This was so comforting as we would not have to go to a hotel and be alone.

A group of friends stayed with us until the fire was out in the wee hours of the morning and helped keep our spirits up (and brought us swedish fish, M&Ms and Diet Dr. Pepper which helped too!)

Once the fire was mostly out the fireman did something that was interesting to me - they walked very slowly around the whole yard and my next-door neighbor's yards to visually inspect and ensure that no embers had flown off from the fire that could start up another fire.  If you think about it this makes sense .... in a small campfire, the wood pops and sometimes a little ember flies off a few feet from the fire .... Now magnify the fire to be the size of a house ... the embers could be much bigger and fly much farther. 

The back of the house (the next day):

The fire investigator was not able to finish his investigation in the dark so he told us he would return in the morning to finish up (he actually came back for the following two days).

A policeman arrived to let us know that he would be posted outside our house for the rest of the night to keep our remaining property safe and protected from any miscreants coming in and re-starting the fire (I guess that is something that happens ....).

There was nothing else we could do, so we went to my friends house to get some sleep.  As Ed and I climbed into bed that night in my friend's guest room, we could not get to sleep.  Our minds were racing with thoughts "We're homeless."  "What will happen now?" "Is anything salvageable?" "I have no clean clothes for tomorrow."   "How did the fire start?"  And over and over with gratitude the thought came  ... "We are so blessed."

Things can be replaced ... People can't.  Scrapbooks can burn but our memories will remain. Our family was safe from harm and we will continue to be extremely grateful for that blessing.

Thank goodness for Firemen.

I am so grateful for our gallant men and women who choose a career or are able to volunteer as firemen and women.

It is a dangerous job.   A building fire is not like a camp fire or a fire in a fireplace  .... there are snow blowers exploding, paint and other things burning which are letting off noxious gasses, heavy black smoke so thick you can cut it with a knife, embers popping and flying from the structure out into the surrounding yards .... A building fire is a giant monster, ferocious and out of control.

The firemen who tamed our fire, fought a dangerous battle.  There was a gas leak that required the gas company to come out that night and drill into the street to shut off the gas main.   There was a handful of old tires next to the house (I know now that was probably not a good idea, but they were great for obstacle courses!), propane tanks under the back porch, gas powered lawn and snow equipment, paint, pool chemicals, ... so many things to burn.

The tall tree on one side of our home caught fire and the firemen were very concerned that it was going to spread the fire to my neighbors - due to that and the gas leak my neighbors on both sides were evacuated as a precaution and it was many hours later before they were allowed to return to their homes.

One fireman was injured as the fire traveled down a guy wire to the telephone pole and caused the wire to snap.  Fortunately he jumped mostly out of the way and only had a minor injury to his ankle.

The firemen were vigilant and vigorously fought the fire until it was extinguished.  They arrived at 9:40 PM and most were still there until 2:00 AM ... they left their families and warm beds to come and protect our town and its citizens.  They risked their personal safety to ensure the safety of us all.
On top of their service, the next day one of them came by with a check for us from their benevolent association to help us with our immediate expenses as we had escaped the fire with basically the clothes on our backs.

I am very grateful for their service.

Can you take a picture for my scrapbook? .... or "The Fire Part Deux"

After I went back and retrieved my dog from the passer by who had stopped to alert us of the fire (Bless you stranger.), a couple more of my friends happened to be driving behind my house and see the fire too and they pulled up to the house right at that moment.  Thank goodness because I was a mess.

I had realized that my car was parked up close to the house and that it would be a good idea to move it before the fire got worse, however my hands were shaking very badly and I was trying to hold the dog and I could not find my car keys. 

I dumped the contents of my purse on the ground (in the dark) before my friends could stop me (obviously I was not thinking clearly and months later was still finding bits of dried leaves and grass in my pocket book).  They were able to take charge and find my keys and get my car moved down the street to a safe location.

Firemen began to arrive, some of them changing into their gear on the neighbors lawn.  They all asked that important question "Is there anyone left inside?".  Fortunately there was not.  We were truly blessed to have gotten out safely, with our little black dog, and with not a hair on our head singed or even a cough from breathing any smoke.

(The next day we spoke to one of the chiefs who was a first responder on the scene.  He said that he was shocked to see how quickly and far the fire had spread in the few short minutes from the call until they arrived.)

Soon the fire trucks arrived and started setting up -- from the size and intensity of the fire, they immediately knew that the structure was a loss and they were simply working to keep it from becoming worse and spreading to my neighbors homes. 

A large extension went out from one of the trucks and started spraying the top of the house and the trees.  Holes were cut in the fence from the back and through my neighbors yard so that the firemen could get their equipment into the back yard.

At some point early in the fire, I started crying about my many scrapbooks that were burning and my friend Tricia hugged me and said "Its ok, you are safe and you can make new scrapbooks."  Then through my tears I said "Oh, I left my phone in the house so I don't have a camera ... can you go and take some pictures of my house for my fire scrapbook?"   :) She asked if I was serious (I'm a scrapbooker -- of coures I was serious! lol) and then ran closer to the house to take some photos.  She got some great shots and even took a little video of the house for me.  She came back chuckling saying that one of the firemen was 'giving her the stink-eye'.  I am so glad she did this as I knew even though I was upset at the time, the record keeper and scrapbooker in me would want to have a record of how I felt and what I saw during this event.

I like this picture the best as you can see more of the extent of the fire -- how it is burning on both sides of the house.

And here is a short (few seconds long) video she took of the house burning before the firemen started to put it out ... you can hear the crackling of the flames and she was across the street from the house while taking the video:

Its not a competition.

I think sometimes my step-children's mother thinks that she is in a competition with their father and with me.  For example, if I do anything nice for the kids she steps up and does something nice for them too.

Which, don't get me wrong, I think in the end her kids can use all the kindness they can get.  Even if her motivations are not pure, the kids are benefitting from additional kindnesses and I believe that has to be a good thing in the end.

She does not need to feel threatened by me.  I am not trying to steal her children's love and affection.  I'm not trying to do things better than her to show her up.  I'm just being myself -- and she should be herself too.  Sometimes that will mean that I will do something better, and sometimes that will mean that she will do it better .... and that is ok.  Its just life -- we are not all the best at everything we do.

Black hearts.

This past weekend my stepdaughter got married at an event to which I was uninvited and her father was only 'allowed' to attend the reception and there only as 'a regular guest'.  He wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner.  He wasn't given a tie to wear to match the rest of the family.  He wasn't asked to be in the reception line (even though both the groom's divorced parents and their new spouses were included in the reception line).  He wasn't even asked to be in a single photograph.

It was an intentionally nasty way to treat her father.  It would have been kinder to just not invite him at all rather than bringing him there in an attempt to humiliate him by his exclusion.

But how could we expect anything different from her?  Her mother is her example and role model.  And that woman holds grudges for decades.  She is so bitter and miserable that she tries to bring everyone around her down.  She has told herself and others the same lies for so many years that I think she actually believes them herself.

I feel truly sorry for both her and her mother.  I hope one day they will recognize how their anger and bitterness come from within themselves and only destroys themselves and their own relationships.  The nasty things they do to others may temporarily sting, but ultimately, they are the ones that pay the price.  Their actions corrode their hearts and blacken their souls. 

I forgive them even though they may never ask me for my forgiveness.  And I will keep praying for them to find comfort and peace so that they no longer need to lash out at others to an attempt to soothe the savage beast inside themselves.