Fire Damage

Interestingly, firemen can cause as much or more damage to the property fighting the fire as the fire itself.

Don't get me wrong -- they have to fight hard to keep the fire under control and that does mean having to demolish some things to keep it from spreading farther. 

Its just not something that I ever really thought about before so it was interesting to me how much damage was done in fighting the fire.  For example ... a section of our neighbors fence and places on all three sides of our fence were torn down to allow the firemen and their equipment to get into our backyard and fight the fire.  Walls in the house that had not been completely burned had their wallboard removed down to the studs to make sure there were no 'hot spots'.

Our living room the morning after:

The fire started in the back corner outside the house and quickly spread through the eaves across the whole house.  Separately it leapt down into the basement window and burnt there.   Part of the reason it was so devastating is that it was able to quickly spread through the whole house.  It started outside so had the wood siding and deck for easy fuel.  And since it went through the eaves, there were no barriers for it to have to burn through (like walls).

At one point the firemen were pumping water through the basement window to control the basement portion of the fire .... the next day there was about a foot of sooty, ash filled water in my basement.  We had someone come pump out the basement, but it was several days before we could safely get down there.

Looking down the basement stairs to the flood below:

The harsh reality was that nothing was salvageable - if it wasn't burnt by the fire it was smoke and water damaged beyond repair.  It is frightening to look at the collapsed roof, melted metal, and piles of debris and realize things could have turned out much differently for us. 

This is a view of my bedroom window where we would have been sleeping if the fire had started later that evening:

We are so grateful for our safety.

Our Family Forgives.

In our family -- we do a lot of stuff that requires apologizing for.  I'm stubborn and a hothead.  Ed is deliberately contentious.  So it is really important that we are willing to forgive each other. Regularly. :)

Our house fire began in the back corner outside the house -- on first seeing the fire, Ed immediately suspected that it was his fault.  Near that location was the bucket where he places his extinguished cigarettes after smoking.  And in fact, the fire investigators determined that it was an accidental fire started by improperly extinguished smoking materials.

Poor  Ed.  I can't imagine that sinking feeling he experienced when realizing this was caused by something he did.  He was surprised when I wasn't mad at him at all.  I was surprised that he thought I would be mad .... It was an accident ... how could I get angry with him when it could just as easily have been me? 

A few years ago, I had a jar candle burn down to the end of the jar ( Lord of the Flame episode ) and almost start a fire in my house.   Again ... what right would I have to be angry when it could have been something I did that started the fire?

And what good would being angry do anyway?  The house was still burnt.  Better that we stick close together and support one another - thats what family does.  Love. Forgive. Mess up again.  Repeat.

Enfolded in the arms of our community

As the firemen started streaming onto my street and fighting the fire, the floodgates opened and my friends and neighbors poured out of their homes to comfort and support us.

Someone brought me a chair to sit on and a blanket to keep warm.   A jacket for Ed.  Water bottles.  Offers of bathrooms to use and places to stay.  A phone charger and place to charge Ed's phone (I left my phone on the arm of the couch when we ran out of the house).   People holding Taco and keeping him calm and safe (and offering him a place to stay too!).

The whole neighborhood seemed to be there with hugs and reassurances and offers of assistance. 

A couple of my friends went to Walmart to get us some necessities for us including toothbrushes and a leash for Taco.

Ed called my parents to let them know what was going on (he was worried that someone would post something on facebook and they would be frightened for our safety). 

Here is a picture of my phone after we dug it out of the rubble the next day (the people at the Verizon Wireless store laughed when they saw it and said "What did you do????" "I set it on fire.". 

We very quickly had a place to stay for the night with an amazing and generous family.  This was so comforting as we would not have to go to a hotel and be alone.

A group of friends stayed with us until the fire was out in the wee hours of the morning and helped keep our spirits up (and brought us swedish fish, M&Ms and Diet Dr. Pepper which helped too!)

Once the fire was mostly out the fireman did something that was interesting to me - they walked very slowly around the whole yard and my next-door neighbor's yards to visually inspect and ensure that no embers had flown off from the fire that could start up another fire.  If you think about it this makes sense .... in a small campfire, the wood pops and sometimes a little ember flies off a few feet from the fire .... Now magnify the fire to be the size of a house ... the embers could be much bigger and fly much farther. 

The back of the house (the next day):

The fire investigator was not able to finish his investigation in the dark so he told us he would return in the morning to finish up (he actually came back for the following two days).

A policeman arrived to let us know that he would be posted outside our house for the rest of the night to keep our remaining property safe and protected from any miscreants coming in and re-starting the fire (I guess that is something that happens ....).

There was nothing else we could do, so we went to my friends house to get some sleep.  As Ed and I climbed into bed that night in my friend's guest room, we could not get to sleep.  Our minds were racing with thoughts "We're homeless."  "What will happen now?" "Is anything salvageable?" "I have no clean clothes for tomorrow."   "How did the fire start?"  And over and over with gratitude the thought came  ... "We are so blessed."

Things can be replaced ... People can't.  Scrapbooks can burn but our memories will remain. Our family was safe from harm and we will continue to be extremely grateful for that blessing.

Thank goodness for Firemen.

I am so grateful for our gallant men and women who choose a career or are able to volunteer as firemen and women.

It is a dangerous job.   A building fire is not like a camp fire or a fire in a fireplace  .... there are snow blowers exploding, paint and other things burning which are letting off noxious gasses, heavy black smoke so thick you can cut it with a knife, embers popping and flying from the structure out into the surrounding yards .... A building fire is a giant monster, ferocious and out of control.

The firemen who tamed our fire, fought a dangerous battle.  There was a gas leak that required the gas company to come out that night and drill into the street to shut off the gas main.   There was a handful of old tires next to the house (I know now that was probably not a good idea, but they were great for obstacle courses!), propane tanks under the back porch, gas powered lawn and snow equipment, paint, pool chemicals, ... so many things to burn.

The tall tree on one side of our home caught fire and the firemen were very concerned that it was going to spread the fire to my neighbors - due to that and the gas leak my neighbors on both sides were evacuated as a precaution and it was many hours later before they were allowed to return to their homes.

One fireman was injured as the fire traveled down a guy wire to the telephone pole and caused the wire to snap.  Fortunately he jumped mostly out of the way and only had a minor injury to his ankle.

The firemen were vigilant and vigorously fought the fire until it was extinguished.  They arrived at 9:40 PM and most were still there until 2:00 AM ... they left their families and warm beds to come and protect our town and its citizens.  They risked their personal safety to ensure the safety of us all.
On top of their service, the next day one of them came by with a check for us from their benevolent association to help us with our immediate expenses as we had escaped the fire with basically the clothes on our backs.

I am very grateful for their service.

Can you take a picture for my scrapbook? .... or "The Fire Part Deux"

After I went back and retrieved my dog from the passer by who had stopped to alert us of the fire (Bless you stranger.), a couple more of my friends happened to be driving behind my house and see the fire too and they pulled up to the house right at that moment.  Thank goodness because I was a mess.

I had realized that my car was parked up close to the house and that it would be a good idea to move it before the fire got worse, however my hands were shaking very badly and I was trying to hold the dog and I could not find my car keys. 

I dumped the contents of my purse on the ground (in the dark) before my friends could stop me (obviously I was not thinking clearly and months later was still finding bits of dried leaves and grass in my pocket book).  They were able to take charge and find my keys and get my car moved down the street to a safe location.

Firemen began to arrive, some of them changing into their gear on the neighbors lawn.  They all asked that important question "Is there anyone left inside?".  Fortunately there was not.  We were truly blessed to have gotten out safely, with our little black dog, and with not a hair on our head singed or even a cough from breathing any smoke.

(The next day we spoke to one of the chiefs who was a first responder on the scene.  He said that he was shocked to see how quickly and far the fire had spread in the few short minutes from the call until they arrived.)

Soon the fire trucks arrived and started setting up -- from the size and intensity of the fire, they immediately knew that the structure was a loss and they were simply working to keep it from becoming worse and spreading to my neighbors homes. 

A large extension went out from one of the trucks and started spraying the top of the house and the trees.  Holes were cut in the fence from the back and through my neighbors yard so that the firemen could get their equipment into the back yard.

At some point early in the fire, I started crying about my many scrapbooks that were burning and my friend Tricia hugged me and said "Its ok, you are safe and you can make new scrapbooks."  Then through my tears I said "Oh, I left my phone in the house so I don't have a camera ... can you go and take some pictures of my house for my fire scrapbook?"   :) She asked if I was serious (I'm a scrapbooker -- of coures I was serious! lol) and then ran closer to the house to take some photos.  She got some great shots and even took a little video of the house for me.  She came back chuckling saying that one of the firemen was 'giving her the stink-eye'.  I am so glad she did this as I knew even though I was upset at the time, the record keeper and scrapbooker in me would want to have a record of how I felt and what I saw during this event.

I like this picture the best as you can see more of the extent of the fire -- how it is burning on both sides of the house.

And here is a short (few seconds long) video she took of the house burning before the firemen started to put it out ... you can hear the crackling of the flames and she was across the street from the house while taking the video:

Its not a competition.

I think sometimes my step-children's mother thinks that she is in a competition with their father and with me.  For example, if I do anything nice for the kids she steps up and does something nice for them too.

Which, don't get me wrong, I think in the end her kids can use all the kindness they can get.  Even if her motivations are not pure, the kids are benefitting from additional kindnesses and I believe that has to be a good thing in the end.

She does not need to feel threatened by me.  I am not trying to steal her children's love and affection.  I'm not trying to do things better than her to show her up.  I'm just being myself -- and she should be herself too.  Sometimes that will mean that I will do something better, and sometimes that will mean that she will do it better .... and that is ok.  Its just life -- we are not all the best at everything we do.

Black hearts.

This past weekend my stepdaughter got married at an event to which I was uninvited and her father was only 'allowed' to attend the reception and there only as 'a regular guest'.  He wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner.  He wasn't given a tie to wear to match the rest of the family.  He wasn't asked to be in the reception line (even though both the groom's divorced parents and their new spouses were included in the reception line).  He wasn't even asked to be in a single photograph.

It was an intentionally nasty way to treat her father.  It would have been kinder to just not invite him at all rather than bringing him there in an attempt to humiliate him by his exclusion.

But how could we expect anything different from her?  Her mother is her example and role model.  And that woman holds grudges for decades.  She is so bitter and miserable that she tries to bring everyone around her down.  She has told herself and others the same lies for so many years that I think she actually believes them herself.

I feel truly sorry for both her and her mother.  I hope one day they will recognize how their anger and bitterness come from within themselves and only destroys themselves and their own relationships.  The nasty things they do to others may temporarily sting, but ultimately, they are the ones that pay the price.  Their actions corrode their hearts and blacken their souls. 

I forgive them even though they may never ask me for my forgiveness.  And I will keep praying for them to find comfort and peace so that they no longer need to lash out at others to an attempt to soothe the savage beast inside themselves.

"Did you know your house is on fire?"

I had gotten home from work late that evening and was sitting in the living room watching television with my husband.  The show we were watching ended, and I felt uneasy.  I heard a noise that sounded like it was coming from the basement ....

(This is actually not the first time I have heard weird noises in the house and thought it was an intruder, but in fairness, there has always been a reason for the noises and I wasn't just hearing things!)

Jenn:  I think there's someone in the house!
Ed:  (Doesn't move from the couch or look up from the computer) There's no one in the house.
Jenn:  No, really.  I think there is someone in the house!
Ed: (Sees the mylar balloons in the kitchen moving) It's those balloons moving. (In hindsight, the balloons were moving in the heat draft from the fire - they should not have been moving at all)
Jenn: (Hearing a louder noise and feeling more ill at ease) No there is someone in the house!

Whereupon I jumped up and ran for the door to go outside to scream and alert everyone to the intruder.  Ed stood up and slowly walked towards the basement door to calm my fears. :) What a good, kind husband.

As I'm opening the front door, I think to myself "Hmmm it smells like smoke."  I step out onto my front porch and there is a strange man running up to my house and he says "Did you know your house is on fire?"  I take a step back and turn around and sure enough there is a big orange glow shining behind my house!

I yell "Ed!  The house is on fire!"  and I run back into the house (not as crazy as it sounds -- there was no visible smoke yet in the house), I grab my little dog Taco, my pocketbook, and my work computer (I know, I wish I had grabbed some scrapbooks instead, but I wasn't thinking and it just happened to be right there by my pocketbook) and I run out to the curb where the good samaritan is on the phone to 911. 

I turn around and realize my husband has NOT followed me out of the house.  I thrust my dog at the stranger and ask him to hold the dog so that I can go find my husband and I run back to the front porch of the house.  The glow of fire is visible when peering into the open front door and a little white smoke is lazily drifting out of our home.  Because of these signs, I don't go back in the house, but I stand on the steps and start hollering for Ed .... there is no answer.  I'm sure now that Ed has fallen into the fire, hit his head, and is dead.  (Yes, I am a catastrophizer.) I run to the side of the house to go to the back yard to see if he is there, but by this time the flames are licking around the side of the house from under the eaves and they are too close to the gate for me to go through it safely ....

So I scream.  You know that panicked, crazy person scream that people let out in the movies and that you swear that is not what would happen in real life?  I let out that scream.  I scream my husbands name praying that he has not fallen victim to the grasping fingers of fire that are destroying our home with their voracious hunger.  Miracle of miracles he answers me.   "I'm here."  He says this with a tone of irritation in his voice.  Like I am interrupting him.  I find out later in fact he was trying to get to the garden hose and get it hooked up to try and contain the fire.  So he had been IGNORING ME when I was calling his name and worrying that he was dead!  I am so glad that he is ok, that I'm not even mad that he caused me such panic.   But for next time, if the house is not on fire, I tell him he has to answer me before I have to start screaming like a banshee!

You're Welcome ...

New blog I love -- http://www.yeahyourewelcome.com/

It is gift ideas -- and the gifts are unique and funny to start with and then her commentary is hysterical.  I was totally laughing my head off -- this girl has a fantastic (albeit earthy) sense of humour (or at least right up my alley) and a very creative gift giving sense! 

Check it out but make sure you go to the bathroom first!

Jackie's Vodka Sauce

I went to my friend Jackie's house last week to learn to make Vodka Sauce.  She was making 4 batches for a Cub Scout 'Spaghetti Dinner' so I think now I can do it on my own!  BTW, this was possibly the best food ever had at a cub scout event!  Homemade vodka sauce, sausage and peppers, meatballs, garlic cream sauce, marinara, bread from the local Italian deli ... Everything was delicious!  Anyway, here are my notes on how to make vodka sauce a la Jackie!

Overall notes --

High quality ingredients are key.  If you skimp on the tomatoes or cream ... it just won't taste as good!

Stir well after every ingredient addition to make sure all the flavors get to all parts of the sauce.

If you want to make a double batch, you are better off just making it twice.

Ingredients:

Olive Oil - Not Extra-Virgin
1 Tablespoon Butter
One small bunch Chopped Scallions (don't use the hard white ends -- just the green parts)
Minced Garlic (about 5 cloves or one palmful of minced)
28 Oz can crushed Tomatos - Sclafani brand
3 handfuls Pecorino Romano grated cheese
1 quart heavy cream
2 heaping spoons of Sun-dried tomato spread (California Sun-Dry brand)
Fresh Basil

In a large, heavy non-stick skillet over medium heat pour some olive oil in the pan (approximately 3 tbsp) and add two pats of butter (approximately 1 tbsp total)

When melted, add one bunch of chopped scallion tops and stir to saute briefly:

Add a palmful of minced garlic -- can add a few slices at this time, but most should be minced.  Sautee briefly.

Add one 28 Oz can of Sclafani crushed tomatoes and stir to combine - these tomatoes smell and taste wonderful.  You will not be as happy with a lot of other brands.

Add three big handfuls of Pecorino Romano grated cheese and stir to combine -- don't use Parmesan or another cheese.  It really needs the flavor of Romano cheese.  Lean over and smell the sauce after combining the cheese in  ... can you smell the cheese strongly?  If not you might need to add a little more cheese.

Add one quart (!!) of Heavy Cream and stir briskly to combine.  Yes I can feel my arteries hardening now! 

Add a couple big spoonfuls of Sun-dried tomato spread and stir briskly to combine.  Now you need to start stirring it regularly ... not constantly but fairly frequently.   You can bring it up to a simmer, but be careful as the high sugar content of the tomatoes makes it easy to burn.

Keep cooking it until it looks and smells done (lol yes I know this is the tricky part)  -- Probably about 10-15 minutes.  You might need to turn the heat down a little bit if it is doing more than a simmer.  The sauce will thicken up some and you will be able to see that as you stir.  Keep scraping down the sides to get all the deliciousness into the sauce.

Remove from heat and add some fresh basil to taste - just tear them right into the pot. (sorry I forgot to get a picture of this, but she only added like a handful of basil leaves)

The below picture has a pot of completed sauce on the left, and a pot of sauce that has just started cooking on the right.  You can see how the one on the right is a very pale pink, and the one on the left has a little more orange look ... the flash made it look a little more orange than it actually was.

Options: 
1) If you want a sauce with a little heat, you can add a couple of sprinkles of red pepper flakes at the time you add the crushed tomatoes.
2) For a little saltier sauce and a little more flavor (although non-vegetarian then) you can get some quality proscuitto and cut it up fine and add to the sauce.

You might ask ... but where is the vodka? Jackie says she doesn't put vodka in as it just seems to make the sauce thinner without adding any dramatic flavor value and she likes a creamier sauce.

How do you eat this delicious vodka sauce?  On pretty much ANYTHING this will taste divine!  It is fantastic over pasta (of course) or used as a sauce to dip bread in.  Poured on a plate next to a slice of fresh mozarella it is awesome.  Some people eat it in a bowl like soup.  It even tastes fantastic as a dip for tortilla chips!

So give it a try -- it is way easier than I thought it would be and I hope you have fun making it!

My Laminator

Great deal today on Amazon.com if you are in the market for a home laminator ...

Scotch Thermal Laminator $17.99

It's not super fast, but I bought this same model last year and it has been great for doing the few small number of things I need to do. This is a great price too -- I actually only paid $16.99 a year ago, but I haven't seen it that cheap again since then. It has a pretty small footprint and having one at home means that I don't have to run to Staples to get something laminated and risk being tempted to buy more office supplies I don't need!!

This does laminate full 8.5x11 sheets, so you can laminate signs or flyers. Don't just think of lamination as a way to protect something for multiple uses ... also think of it as a way to add body. Like a volumizer for paper. :)

Living Rich With Coupons

I've been playing around with cutting coupons and my friend turned me on to this great website:
http://livingrichwithcoupons.com/
If you are interested in saving money on your grocery bill, I suggest you check out this site. She has some fantastic ideas.
The basic concepts are:

1. wait til something goes on sale to use your coupons


2. 'stockpile' enough of frequently used items so that you don't have to buy until it goes on sale again (sale cycles are approx 4-10 weeks)

There are tons of coupons available online that you just have to print out.

I have already gotten a bunch of stuff for 70-90% off original price -- even gotten some things for FREE!

Rest in Peace, Henry.

I have been reading the blog of Katie Granju, whose 18 year old son, Henry, just died from complications due to a brutal assualt and drug overdoes. You can read more about her and her story on her blog http://www.mamapundit.com/. My heart aches for her and her loss.

It is a sad story. It is one that reminds me how some things - even ones very close to home - are truly outside of our control. No matter how much we try to make a difference, no matter how much support we give someone, the outcome of their life is theirs to determine. We can't force people to make good choices. We can't force them to accept help when it is needed. Someimtes, even though we are fighting as hard as we can, they slip away from us and succumb to their demons.

A columnist for a local newspaper, Steve Wildsmith, wrote about his interaction with Katie's son and hsi thoughts upon Henry's death, and I liked his perspective. You can read his story here. My favorite part was his closing line:

"Rest in peace, Henry. You were always loved. I wish that would have been enough."

I too wish that would have been enough.

A Bath for Taco

Normally Taco is a big fluffy ball of black pomeranian fur. Here is a picture of him when he went to Cameron and JT's baseball games. Note that his paws barely touched the ground the whole time we were there as ALL the Stokes kids wanted to hold him because they think he is so cute!

But the truth is that Taco is mostly fur. As evidenced by this picture where you can see he is just a tiny little thing once you get him soaking wet. Here he has just come out of the bath and is very disgruntled over it.

What you don't see is the explosive diarrhea that he had all over my living room which necessitated a bath sooner than normal. Oh the joys of having a pet in the house.

C is for Cookie

These are SO easy and very tasty! Its basically a variation on the 7-layer or Magic Cookie bars using pretzels as the crust for a delicious salty-sweet combination. I used regular milk chocolate chips instead of the hershey's mini-kisses. And I pulsed my pretzels a few times in the Vita-mix to get them nice and fine. FYI -- If you are impatient to try one when they come out of the oven and you try to cut these before they are completely cooled, the marshmallow will make a horrible mess and the crust will crumble all over. :) Voice of Experience.

Rocky Road Tasty Team Treats
source: Hershey Kiss Recipes

1 1/2 Cups finely crushed thin pretzels or pretzel sticks
3/4 Cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter or margarine, melted
1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated milk)
1 3/4 Cups (10-ounce package) Hershey's Mini kisses Milk Chocolate
3 Cups Miniature marshmallows
1 1/3 Cups coarsely chopped pecans

1) Heat oven to 350 degrees F, Gerase bottom and sides of 13X9X2 baking pan
2) Combine pretzels and melted butter in small bowl; press evenly onto bottom of prepared pan. Spread sweetened condensed milk evenly over pretzel layer; layer evenly with chocolates, marshmallows and pecans, in order. Press down firmly on pecans.
3) Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until lightly browned on top. Cool completely in pan on wire rack. Cut into bars.

Grounds for Sculpture

We went to visit Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton, NJ ... it was so much fun! Miriam had told me about them several times, but I just have never been able to arrange things to go.

This Saturday, my sweet honey lamb Ed woke up and spontaneously suggested we go and I was more than happy to agree!

If you have never been, it is worth making the trip ... It is on the old State Fairgrounds ... they have some indoor exhibits, but it is basically a 35 acre outdoor sculpture garden. The flowering trees were just in the tail end of their glory, so everything was especially beautiful.

Some of our favorites were the ones by the founder J. Seward Johnson -- he cracked me up. For example -- Dejeuner Deja Vu ... Here you can read more about this and more of Seward Johnson's work.
The thing I loved most about the garden was how the sculptures and the landscaping were designed to help you appreciate the beauty of both parts.

There were tons of peacocks every where roaming free on the grounds ... I love to look at peacocks and I took a bunch of pictures of them ... but they were a little scary too. :) They have this really loud call and with their long tail ... they are kind of big! :)

We had a great time and I hope that everyone has a chance to visit this little diamond nestled in the heart of NJ!

First day of Spring

We had such a great outing today. We went to the beach. We played and walked, dug in the sand, let Taco run around and sniff things, and had a picnic (in the car because we got a little chilled). Then we went to Rita's for the celebratory free water ice that they give out on the first day of Spring each year! Check out my new banner for a collage of fun snapshots from our day.

And best of all ... it was Ed's idea to go out for the day! I love it! So often he is quite content to stay home. So I love when he initiates an activity outside and especially one as fun as this!

Huge Waves Wipe out Spectators. Call the Coast Guard.

On the weather channel ... I was watching the latest weather videos and there came one titled: Huge Waves Wipe out Spectators

I had to watch it. I was then amused by the laid back comments of the surfer/announcers upon viewing the waves washing away the spectators causing them to break legs and have serious injuries. Check it out -- it's totally rad.

Digital Nation on PBS Feb 2, 2010

Ha ha ... This guys finds out 6 months after his son went on a backpacking trip that he was maintaining two separate blogs ... one for the parents and one for everyone else.

There is a special on PBS on Feb 2, 2010 about the effects of the internet on life as we know it. The above is just one of the stories they have been collecting over the past year. Go to this website to learn more about the broadcast:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/digitalnation

Caring for Number One

A recurring theme in my life is that I look to the needs of others before my own. Ignoring to my detriment the fact that if you don't put your own oxygen mask on, you'll pass out and die before being able to help others.

So I really am going to work harder this year to take better care of myself. Taking time to do nice things for me as often as I do for other people.

Hopefully the nice things I do for myself will translate into a happier, well-rested and more enthusiastic Jenn! And we can all appreciate the benefits of that improvement!